The problem with being human is that we are creatures of habit. Once we find something we like, we return to it again and again until -- poof! We hate it. It's hard to stop doing what once worked, but stop we must, or all those moves -- kiss, kiss, rub, rub, suck, suck -- will suddenly make you cringe with their familiarity. A wife says..."My husband focuses on three things: right boob, left boob and crotch," one woman complains. "I try to let him know that it doesn't work because it's always the same."
The easiest way to get the synapses sparking to the thrill of novelty is to fiddle with the basic variables of time, place and style. Be forewarned, though: A certain amount of energy and effort -- not to mention humor -- is necessary if you're going to break out of a rut.
Ideally foreplay starts long before you hit the bedroom, so you build anticipation until you can't wait to make love. The trick is to keep sex in the air -- by flashing your man on the way to the shower or placing a sexy call at work or planting passionate kisses at unexpected moments. "I'd love it if my wife groped me during the day," says one husband, "just so I know she's thinking of me."
When was the last time you just let your fingers wander over each other's bodies? The danger of familiarity is that once you discover the prime hot spots, you stop exploring the erotic potential of other areas. "I wish my wife would learn some new techniques," says one man. "She just rushes right to my penis."
Everybody has a favorite sex position, but if variety weren't so crucial to maintaining desire, do you think the Kama Sutra would have lasted all these centuries? Having a range of positions not only is a perfect antidote to routine, it also lets you decide which style of lovemaking you're in the mood for -- tender, raunchy, spiritual -- and to adjust accordingly. You want your husband to do the "cave guy" thing and drag you around by your ponytail? Go for it. You want sweet, soulful lovemaking? It's yours. "Our goal," says one woman, "is never to have sex the same way twice!"
Read more: Spice Up Sex Life - Bring Variety to the Bedroom - Redbook