I think lots of women who choose this profession come into it because of difficult circumstances. I had a great career in business and well qualified, but within minutes my family was radicalised and this changes me forever!
At the time I felt that I was in a Diane Arbus photograph and that life was surreal or stuck in the picture 'Scream'. My memories of that time are still in black and white and of sadness and fear, but I've learned a lot since then and I've moved on.
Here is my little personal expression of my fears at the time. I think this explains it...
It’s four in the morning when most are asleep there’s a little dark room in my house where I creep, it measures 6ft by 6ft and it’s cold with black tiles and I know I can hide in this room for a while. The lock on the door is secure this I know, the light through the window it is grey don’t you know. There’s a sink and a loo and a corner or two to sit and reflex on what, where and who. You can close the lock quietly and no one will hear, you can cry really loudly and let go of your fear? You can sit on the floor in the corner quite tight, with legs pulled up high to above your chest height.
Heartbreak and hopelessness are all your best friends, in the dark they engorge you and life’s at an end, but you can hide in this room, let it go, let it out, find relief and some solace while no ones about! You sit in the dark hoping no one is near yet crying and screaming for some God to hear.
The tears start to end and the pain starts to go, the helplessness, hopelessness ends don’t you know. Eventually dawn’s grey light peeps through, you’re feeling much better refreshed and anew. You wipe away tears, the exhaustion is here, to unlock the door to the darkness once more to the loved ones so dear, in the hope and to pray that Morpheus will hear.
Or something like that so hope you like it?
No I was not on the loo! ;-) I wanted somewhere to hide! I just wanted to cry where no one would hear me because I didn't know where to turn or what to do.
I came into escorting to change this situation for the better and I am so proud I did for many reasons.
So what would you do for your loved ones? It's a difficult one hey, but it's not for me because I would do anything for the people I love...
Kisses and love Lucinda XXX